What if you had the opportunity to change it ALL…
Job? Housing? District? Country? Continent? Relationships? Friends?…
What are we really willing to change to live the life of our dreams and stop complaining?
In theory, nothing prevents us from breaking with anything that causes us more harm than good. But concretely, do we really have the courage to say:
- « STOP ! I stop this painful relationship! »
- « STOP ! I stop this job that no longer satisfies me! »
- « STOP ! I stop wasting my time with this friend! »
- or even: « STOP ! I stop wanting to change my mother, my father,…, my partner! »
I want to do better with my life and I CHANGE EVERYTHING on my side!
Change the mold that our parents and our society took care to shape for us.
That mold which no longer suits us, is often just a stupid and outdated ideal of another generation. And it will always be so… To redesign everything, is there a better teacher than traveling?
♣ Today, I have the chance to change continent for the second time. ♣
The first time has happened to me 10 years ago, when I left my continent: Africa, for Europe. Today I leave Europe for America.
And although the idea of this last departure was not mine, I can not deny the huge need for disruption and adventure that preceded it.
« Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer. » – Anonymous
No matter how much we can dream of traveling, we can hardly imagine the disturb that a one-way trip could cause within a couple…
For my personal case, it was not a matter of refusing the idea of leaving the country, but it was a matter of asking all possible and imaginable questions to anticipate the impact of such a new start.
Questions, many questions… these logical expressions of our fears that we have to master, in order to let live the taste for adventure and freedom…
I am not saying that it is useless to learn about the new host country: its characteristics, its population, its climate, its administration, its traffic regulations, its banks, insurances and all possibilities of work and leisure it could offer…
However, I think it is important to distinguish these useful questions, which allow us to learn and to move on in the decision-making process, from those tricky questions, which do not have answers and make us fall into the irrational fear of the unknown.
Some of the tricky questions could be: Would we succeed there? Will we have a better job? Will we enjoy the new environment? Will we get new friends? …
« The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure. » – Joseph Campbell
Having made our own decision and channeled our own emotions, it is often time to announce it to our families and our loved ones.
Needless to say how much our freedom could be scary for them and for many around us.
I used to be direct and firm in theses situations. But I recently realized that using one’s heart could be more effective in dealing with people’s frustration.
« To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.» – Eleanor Roosevelt
Instead of pointing the finger at their reasoning, it might be better to tell them what we feel through our choice, our intuition, our investigations, but also to reiterate what we feel for them.
Frustrated people often expect proof of love, empathy, consideration and a reassuring attitude. In a moment of anxiety, a parent becomes the child who needs to be listened to, pampered and reassured by his child.
To conclude, I would say that we must always remember that we are the primarily concerned by our own choices of life ; we can only become better individuals if we have the freedom to choose our own adventure and lifestyle. It is therefore crucial to make our decisions freely while keeping in mind all what a fresh start could offer to us, and using our heart for the rest./.
A personal story or a thought related to the subject? Please leave a comment below. I would be more than happy to answer you!
- Welcome! - July 22, 2020
- Is lack of belonging the #1 reason of female intellectual migration? - September 1, 2017
- A Letter to my Dad… Happy Birthday! - August 9, 2017