« Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. » – Albert Camus.
When I seriously considered leaving Tunisia, I was deeply convinced that I would never be respected enough, understood enough, and intellectually stimulated or desired.
By ‘enough’ I mean as much as for men there. And of course, I was physically stupidly desired and envied (damn it!). I could simply never be truly loved for the whole woman I am. And mostly not for the intellectual part of me.
That feeling started within my family. And I couldn’t put it into words at that time.
It was just a devastating pain, manifested by deep loneliness and repetitive conflicts… especially with my mother, and with my elder brother.
From the outside, I appeared to be normal and even privileged with smartness, school success, and a highly-educated family. But from the inside, I was dealing with a serious and painful lack of belonging and couldn’t feel home wherever I go…
« Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. » – Helen Rowland
I had to leave to save my soul and no longer feel odd to my family. And I used Education as the official reason of migrating to France, while it was the lack of belonging to my own family and country of birth that pushed me to leave.
♣ ♣ ♣
Today, I use curiosity and courage to explore the expanded lack of belonging among intellectual migrants. Not toward their host country – as many studies chose to focus on – but toward their country of origin – as most studies just overlooked it.
I have been reminded of this subject while discovering the admirable initiative and work of the idebate association in the UK. I suggested the topic and submitted my article in the form of a debate few weeks ago, and it was reviewed and published here.
Through my researches, I was amazed to find out that the lack of belonging issue could be shaping the new trends of intellectual migration, which is highly gendered today.
Here are some of my main findings:
- The need of belonging is greater for women than for men;
- Intellectual women migrants outnumber intellectual men migrants today. In Africa for example, the average emigration rates of tertiary-educated women are considerably higher than those of tertiary-educated men: 27.7% for women and 17.1% for men;
- Unequal and discriminatory norms can be strong drivers of intellectual female migration;
- Family ties play a strong role in aggravating or mitigating a certain degree of alienation towards the national culture;
- The inferiority complex within older generations in the developing countries affects intellectuals’ sense of belonging while in their countries;
- Most young intellectuals from developing countries are politically conscious and want to be “actors” in policy making;
- Intellectual migrants are more impregnated by ideas of internationalism and universalism.
Check out my article with references here.
Do these findings resonate with you? Let me know your thoughts in a comment below!
Thank you for your support!
SuccessfulMigrant intends to help intellectual migrants embrace a new country, a new career, or become entrepreneurs.
- Welcome! - July 22, 2020
- Is lack of belonging the #1 reason of female intellectual migration? - September 1, 2017
- A Letter to my Dad… Happy Birthday! - August 9, 2017
Very interesting, Nadia. Thank you for sharing. And congratulations on getting your article published in the UK!
Thank you so much Laura! Happy that you found it interesting. ?
Hope to always see you over here! ?
Dear Nadia, Congratulations on publishing your article in UK. In the past two months, I tried to be calm, but in my heart, I had been full of pain and struggle… Life has changed. I had to make a decision. I’m not a hesitant person, but I don’t know why making decisions became hard for me now… After reading your blog, I know the reason: lack of belonging. No matter what kind of decision I make, this feeling of lack of belonging will always follow me… I couldn’t feel home wherever I go, and don’t know where I should go… Thanks for sharing these thoughts, thanks for helping me overcome my lack of confidence… Hope to see you soon.
My dear Juan,
Thank you so much for your comment! It’s always a pleasure to read from you! 🙂
I know how painful it could be not to feel home and having to make big decisions.
This is never easy and it is very courageous even to talk about it… I appreciate your courage!
But know that those difficult periods are common for so many people who fight to live a better life, with people who could understand them and resonate with them.
Once you decide the smallest next step, things will get better.
Let’s try to connect and chat further!
Wish you all the best my friend! And talk to you soon!
—
Nadia
Dear Nadia, my precious friend! Thank you for sharing, there are so many of us who experienced that, maybe unconsciously, but it is so important to realize that we are not the only one! Your post helps me to reduce my feeling guilty about leaving my country, about not being able to overcome difficulties. But indeed it was a big opportunity to grow up, learn about different cultures and meet so many different people that I’d probably have never met…so thank you for reminding me and encourage to push always further our limits 🙂 Hope to read other articles in this beautiful blog, you’re doing a great work! Wish you all the best and take good care of you my friend :*:*
Thank you so much my Silvietta! 🙂
Happy to read from you and to know that this article resonated with you!
YES, acknowledging our failures to overcome some difficulties is necessary to move on, and I agree on the great opportunities we embrace when we move and meet with new people and new cultures! You are definitely one of the most amazing (new) friends I’ve met with thanks to our mutual migration! 🙂
Thank you so much for your infinite kindness, incredible person, and tireless smile! 🙂
Much Love my friend!!